The Jennifer Blogs

Hey Dirtbag,



I'm kind of curious how --even though my debit card is still in my possession-- you were able to steal the number, expiration date, and any other pertinent information you illegally acquired to go on this month-long shopping spree.



Lucky for you that account is *barely* used and fully-funded. And since I'm living overseas and use my Singapore account way more than my American one, I haven't been checking it on a regular basis. Lucky, lucky you.



Let me ask you about a few purchases though. Some of this crap really doesn't make sense to me.



BMC CHILDREN'S B - Is this some book club for your kid? Wow! You're such a role model. How I wish my parents had ripped off some other family so they could read to me.



AIC HYDRODERM S - What is this? Hydroderm? Sounds like some kind of face cream. But for $5.95, how great can it be? Maybe you know something I don't know. Perhaps you could give me some great tips for my combination skin. You must have acquired a wealth of knowledge with all that reading you're doing to your kids --you know from those books you're buying online using *my* debit card.



WWW.BLOGTOOLKIT.COM - Only $1.97? What a bargain! But did you know you can blog for free at MySpace? Seriously. And I won't even charge you for the great lead, so you won't have to enter *my* debit card number at the end of this blog. It's free. Seriously. Put the card down.



A few of these seem related -- GOOGLE MONEY PR, M2C GLOBAL, CONSUMERDIRECT.COM, PDF-LICENSE.COM, SEGPAYEU.COM. I'm wondering, are you starting a new business with my debit card? If so, please respond with the type of business you are starting. The start-up costs seem fairly cheap and I'm wondering about the income opportunities.



COLUMBIA HOUSE VIDEO -- How nice that you're watching movies. Reading books. Watching movies. Starting a business. You're very well-rounded, I'd say.



I saved the best for last. I'm sure you'll agree. This Travel Service thing. Yes, the most expensive post against my account. Please let me know how your vacation was and send some pictures. I can show you how to build a slideshow and post it on your MySpace page even. That is, if you decide to move over here where the blogging is free. Oh, and if they have Internet in prison.



Sincerely,



Jen




P.S. Who will read books to your kid while you're locked up for stealing from innocent expats? 


P.P. S. I'll use your Hydroderm if the stuff's any good.

An open letter to the man who picked his wedgie as I walked behind him this morning.



Dear Wedgie Picker,



I was standing behind you today as we crossed Mitsume Dori. When the light turned green and you began to walk, it was *me* standing behind you who had to watch you dig your fingers inside your crack and pull out your apparently riding-up undies. This was not a pretty sight!



For one, Wedgie Man, you dug too deep.
Secondly, WM (may I call you WM for short?), you dug too long! How small *are* your underwear, anyway? 



Here's a tip - take Y800 out of your next paycheck and get a pair of boxer briefs. They're not only way better looking on men, but no wedgies! If you can afford it, splurge and spend Y1200 on the silky ones! Your bottom will thank you for it!



Sincerely,



The girl who had to watch you dig.