The Jennifer Blogs

At first I was going to take a picture of what my living room looks like and post it as the blog photo, but the truth is that things are such an incredible mess in my living room right now that I am quite frankly too ashamed to post that for the entire world to see. However, if you really want to see it, come on over. Just make sure you bring some tape and markers with you.

There's really nothing fun about this packing. Wait. Let me rephrase that. There's nothing fun about this sorting. I'm not actually doing the packing part. I'm only sorting our things into: Donate, Store in Singapore, Ship to US, Pack in suitcases to take to US. Everything else gets thrown away. Once it has all been sorted, I will mark the boxes and containers with colored tabs alerting the movers to know what to do with its contents.

In addition to all the items I'm sorting through at home, the hubz is bringing home his work (cuss word that means the same thing as "poop"), which consists mostly of heavy papers and books. I don't know what the heck I'm supposed to do with those things! I hope he's storing them in Singapore, and I hope when he gets home he puts them somewhere else besides where he currently has them!

What I want to know is, where did all this junk come from anyway? Did someone go shopping while I was asleep? I know when we left the US for Japan in 2007 that we only had two suitcases each. That's eight suitcases of stuff. Sure, we had a little more when we moved from Japan to Singapore, but I don't know how all this other stuff got here!

It's not really easy to decide what to keep and what to take home. I'd really like to take it all. But the truth is, I can't. I thought long and hard about a red vase I have. I didn't buy it. It's not all that expensive. It's easily replaceable. But then I thought about the story behind the vase - basically who gave it to me and why. It was my friend Patti. We were having a cook-out at the condos where we live and invited her to come. We had hosted several of these cook-outs, but she had just moved here from the US and it was the first one she came to. Patti showed up that Saturday afternoon with a big vase of fresh flowers! The flowers were just beautiful! When they died, I kept the vase. I was touched because of all the cookouts I'd had before, nobody had ever brought me a hostess gift of any kind, and these flowers were just absolutely beautiful! So there was a lot of meaning behind this vase when I settled on bringing it home with me.

Once I decided to keep the vase, I walked into the kitchen where The Girl was washing up a couple of things for me and I asked her to please wash the vase. Her mouth curled up and her forehead wrinkled a little as she said, "You're bringing that home?" I felt deflated. So I grabbed a garbage bag and dropped the vase in, covering it with a few other things that will not be going back to the US. I left the room, took a deep breath, then went back to the kitchen and told her she will not be going house-hunting with me when I get back to the US. At nearly 16-years-old, you'd think this child would know by now when the words coming out of her mouth sound judgmental. But she doesn't. I'm honestly worried for her when it comes to making new friends. Open mouth, insert foot. Speak before thinking. Those are the two things she does best. I know I do not have to explain myself to her, but the fact that she even thinks it's okay to question my choices makes me question where I went wrong as a parent.

So here I sit in the bedroom, laptop out, blogging. It was either that or yell at her. She came in the bedroom once to ask me if I was coming back out. I told her I'd be out when I wasn't so mad that I wanted to yell at her. The smartest thing she could have asked came next, "May I go out and find something to do?" I know that once I publish this blog I will be free to get the vase back out of the garbage bag without facing the judgment of a holier-than-Thou 15-year-old and put it in the box marked: Going Home.

Momma? I'm comin' home! Bittersweet words right now, really.

It was in September, 2007 I had to say goodbye to my friends and family in the US. We packed nearly everything we owned into two suitcases a piece and boarded a 747 headed to Tokyo. It was the beginning of an incredible international journey that is coming to a close. Sort of.

The job that landed us in Japan and then Singapore is about over. The next chapter is about to begin, but things are a little different this time. This time the job offer is for "single status," meaning the company only pays for him to stay in Singapore. The kids and I have to move back to the US. Well, we don't have to move back, but it really is the best thing right now. I'll save those gory details for a future blog, but suffice it to say that there has been a lot of talking, crying, doubting, praying, research and thought that has gone into this decision. We have gone from talking about an extended US vacation for me and the kids to moving back to the US.

When we talked through every point we could imagine, it boiled down to schooling. The kids' education is really the most important thing right now. Neither one is doing very well in the homeschool environment. The Boy will be finished with his junior year of high school in about three weeks. His future plans include the military. It is important for him to spend his final year of high school taking Driver's Ed, getting his first job and talking to recruiters. He also needs to study for and pass the ASVAB. The Girl somehow managed to fail ninth grade with all A's. (See? I told you this was going to have to wait for another blog. Very complicated stuff.)

My parents moved to Florida from upstate NY when I was a sophomore in high school. It was three months before my 16th birthday. I was devastated. I have always wanted to go back, but there has never been an opportunity. It's not that there aren't any jobs. It's just that they're all in the wrong industry. The schools in upstate NY are some of the best in the nation and given that The Girl really needs to be challenged right now, we felt like this would be the best place for her.  She will repeat ninth grade and get to start high school with her peers, rather than enter high school at a higher grade when all the "rules" have been established. This should be easier for her socially.

The way the job works is, every three months he gets to come home for two weeks. Now that's a really long flight to make so frequently, but we figure that he can come home for a couple of weeks the first time, then I can go back to Singapore. The next time, maybe we'll meet in the "middle." We'll just take turns so that it's more manageable and he doesn't have to do all the travel all the time. My friend Deanna is in Belgium, so we've already decided that the first time we meet up, that will be our "half way point."

It was a really tough decision to not move to Florida. My parents are there and my dad has Parkinson's disease. I want to spend as much time as possible making up for the missed years while I was in Asia. But as it turns out, Mom & Dad are also kind of keen on moving back to New York State. There's a chance I'll get to help them make that move after I get home.

The little details are still not worked out quite yet, but I do know that very soon - near the beginning of June - D'Ette and I will be coming back to the US. We will fly into Buffalo and spend a few days looking at rental homes. I will have to buy a car.

Holy cow! You know what just dawned on me? I not only have to buy a car, but I need to buy towels and dishes and small appliances. I need to buy everything! When I say we sold (or gave away) almost everything we owned, I wasn't kidding. I have a few boxes at my mom's house (including a couple of Pampered Chef stoneware dishes), but I literally got rid of everything! I'll need to get dishes and pots and pans and towels and food storage containers and silverware and a toaster and microwave. Oh. My. Gosh. I actually love shopping for that kind of stuff, but when you have to buy it all at once? This may be a little overwhelming. (Breathe, Jen.  Breeaatthhheeee.)

Anyway, as I was saying ... once I have rented a house and bought a car, D'Ette and I will fly to Florida. We will go see my parents and all my "adopted" family in Lakeland. A trip to Lakeland is long overdue! We'll spend some time there with people who are dearer to our hearts than I could possibly put into words. I'll get to see Mom & Dad. Mom will be full of questions about how to do this or that on FarmVille and I will have to put her leash on and take her out for a walk to calm her down. During the visit, I'll go through all the things I stored at Mom and Dad's place and get a mover to give me an estimate on how long it'll take and what it'll cost me to get my measly few boxes to New York. It's going to be too much to ship, but really too little to hire a moving van, but I really don't think I'll be up for making the drive. I do love a road trip, but when you're the only one doing all the driving, it's not as much fun.

Somewhere in there I also have to make a trip to Louisiana to see the girls, the babies and my mother-in-law.

Then it'll be back to New York. About six weeks after I have found a place, all my stuff from Singapore will arrive. We don't have a lot to ship home, but I have done a little bit of shopping during the Asian Tour. I picked up a couple of vases and some linens. Then there are my books and clothes and all that other stuff you tend to collect as you spend a few years in one place.

There's so much to look forward to when coming home. It's going to be tough living the next couple of years of my life essentially as a single mom, but I know it's what's best for both kids and for our family as a whole. It'll be hard with him in Singapore and me in the US. But I'll have my childhood friends, my extended family in Lakeland (who had BETTER come visit me in Buffalo!) and New York pizza to keep me company. And beef on weck. And real Buffalo wings. And Target. And Taco Bell. And driving on the right side of the road. And people who call it a "trunk" instead of the "boot."

So ... who's ready?