The Jennifer Blogs

Watching the latest Bachelor series got me thinking about something. Why is it we care so much which woman he picks? Why do I care which woman Jake wants to spend the rest of his life with? Does watching this show for an hour and a half once a week give me some special say into who he should marry? I'd like to think so, but it does not. Still, I know I'm not alone on this one.

I was really shocked Jake did not choose Tenley. I just knew he wouldn't pick Vienna. I mean, aside from her age and immaturity, there were so many warning signs. None of the other girls liked Vienna. She just never could say things right, and I think she was a bit too much of a princess. I can't help but feel that since he had to fight for Vienna (to convince the other girls and his parents she wasn't who they thought she was), there was some psychological advantage.

But why do I care? Why do women care that the boy gets the girl and the girl gets the boy? Hollywood has made a fortune off this very thing with movies like Serendipity, City of Angels and 13 Going on 30. We love a good chick flick, don't we ladies?

Somehow we allow ourselves to be sucked into these love stories, reality shows and even the stories our friends share with us about their own lives. We want the nice girl -- the one with the kind heart and the bright smile -- to get the boy. Not the sarcastic, mean girl who seems to be out only to serve her own needs. Yet, that seemed to happen in this case with The Bachelor. Maybe that's just real life. Real life is messy. Bad decisions are made. There are no writers to come fix things, no producers to call the shots and make things pretty, no directors to change things at the last minute so that it's a happier ending tied in a bow.

As a woman, I can honestly say there have been times when I was still dating that I absolutely chose the wrong boy. In high school, the wrong boy got the girl. But just the same, there were times I was overlooked for the "wrong girl."

Of course, I also believe that we can be our own authors, producers and directors. If we don't like the way our lives have turned out, we have the power to change things. Not just in love, but in all facets of our lives. If you don't like your job, quit complaining and find a better one. If you don't like your house, decorate it or sell it and buy a new one. If you don't like your boyfriend, dump him and get a new one. Heck, in this day and age if you don't like your nose, you can even change that.

All this doesn't explain why we care so much that Jake chose Vienna over Tenley. Or even more, why he didn't let Ali come back. That was really his biggest mistake. Again, why do I care? Why do we, as women, care?

Maybe because we were raised from little girls to believe that the prince always chooses Cinderella, and that Cinderella gets to be a princess. We're taught that the kind, sweet, pretty girl always gets the man of her dreams and they ride off on a white horse into the sunset. And when that doesn't happen, maybe it makes us question our fundamental beliefs.

Now, where's my glass slipper?

I don't know how my mother did it. I was interested in boys as a teenager, and at 15 had my first "real" boyfriend. (Although as it later turned out, it was his best friend that I was really interested in!) But I was definitely more mature when I was 13, 14 and 15 years old than my daughter is. Still, that doesn't stop the boys from looking at her, which is the current case.

A boy my little girl has been hanging out with as a friend has a mad crush on her. It's all over his Facebook page. He's been trading nonstop emails with her asking her what I consider to be inappropriate personal questions (although not sexual).

We've had to pull the plug on this friendship before it went too far. He has since ran the gamut of emotions. He was obviously very angry judging by posts on his Facebook page. He acted confused. And now he has admitted to our son that he is in love with our daughter.

He's pretty mad that we won't let him have contact with our daughter, but he has already distracted her from her school work enough. Some of the suggestions the two of them have made about how they were going to find time to spend together is also a bit worrisome. So, rather than have to deal with that stress right now with a 14-year-old girl who needs to focus on her school work, we have put an end to the friendship.

Some parents might think we're being a bit overprotective. Maybe. But I honestly think too many parents give their children too much freedom, then wonder why their 16-year-old sweetheart is carrying around a baby bump. It's not going to happen on my watch.