The Jennifer Blogs

At first I was going to take a picture of what my living room looks like and post it as the blog photo, but the truth is that things are such an incredible mess in my living room right now that I am quite frankly too ashamed to post that for the entire world to see. However, if you really want to see it, come on over. Just make sure you bring some tape and markers with you.

There's really nothing fun about this packing. Wait. Let me rephrase that. There's nothing fun about this sorting. I'm not actually doing the packing part. I'm only sorting our things into: Donate, Store in Singapore, Ship to US, Pack in suitcases to take to US. Everything else gets thrown away. Once it has all been sorted, I will mark the boxes and containers with colored tabs alerting the movers to know what to do with its contents.

In addition to all the items I'm sorting through at home, the hubz is bringing home his work (cuss word that means the same thing as "poop"), which consists mostly of heavy papers and books. I don't know what the heck I'm supposed to do with those things! I hope he's storing them in Singapore, and I hope when he gets home he puts them somewhere else besides where he currently has them!

What I want to know is, where did all this junk come from anyway? Did someone go shopping while I was asleep? I know when we left the US for Japan in 2007 that we only had two suitcases each. That's eight suitcases of stuff. Sure, we had a little more when we moved from Japan to Singapore, but I don't know how all this other stuff got here!

It's not really easy to decide what to keep and what to take home. I'd really like to take it all. But the truth is, I can't. I thought long and hard about a red vase I have. I didn't buy it. It's not all that expensive. It's easily replaceable. But then I thought about the story behind the vase - basically who gave it to me and why. It was my friend Patti. We were having a cook-out at the condos where we live and invited her to come. We had hosted several of these cook-outs, but she had just moved here from the US and it was the first one she came to. Patti showed up that Saturday afternoon with a big vase of fresh flowers! The flowers were just beautiful! When they died, I kept the vase. I was touched because of all the cookouts I'd had before, nobody had ever brought me a hostess gift of any kind, and these flowers were just absolutely beautiful! So there was a lot of meaning behind this vase when I settled on bringing it home with me.

Once I decided to keep the vase, I walked into the kitchen where The Girl was washing up a couple of things for me and I asked her to please wash the vase. Her mouth curled up and her forehead wrinkled a little as she said, "You're bringing that home?" I felt deflated. So I grabbed a garbage bag and dropped the vase in, covering it with a few other things that will not be going back to the US. I left the room, took a deep breath, then went back to the kitchen and told her she will not be going house-hunting with me when I get back to the US. At nearly 16-years-old, you'd think this child would know by now when the words coming out of her mouth sound judgmental. But she doesn't. I'm honestly worried for her when it comes to making new friends. Open mouth, insert foot. Speak before thinking. Those are the two things she does best. I know I do not have to explain myself to her, but the fact that she even thinks it's okay to question my choices makes me question where I went wrong as a parent.

So here I sit in the bedroom, laptop out, blogging. It was either that or yell at her. She came in the bedroom once to ask me if I was coming back out. I told her I'd be out when I wasn't so mad that I wanted to yell at her. The smartest thing she could have asked came next, "May I go out and find something to do?" I know that once I publish this blog I will be free to get the vase back out of the garbage bag without facing the judgment of a holier-than-Thou 15-year-old and put it in the box marked: Going Home.

It's a little stressful, I admit, but I really enjoy looking at houses. Online, anyway. The truly fun part will be getting to walk through them and imagine myself sitting in the living room, reading in the bedroom or cooking something in the kitchen (a.k.a. "microwaving). I could do some serious microwaving in this kitchen! This is the house I'm leaning towards, but there's no guarantee it'll be on the market still when I am ready to look and there are plenty of others that also appear to be really easy to call home.


The mother of a girl I grew up with works in real estate and she's been helping me out through email. When I get back to New York, she's going to take me looking at a few properties. It's funny. I haven't done this in so long that I'm also a little bit nervous. The way you look at homes in Singapore is very different from the way you look at them in the US. In Singapore, two agents are always present: the owner's agent and the renter's agent. The renter's agent doesn't know the exact location of the property until minutes before taking the renter to see it. Before arriving, the renter's agent has to call the owner's agent and ask for specific directions. This is probably to keep them from going ahead of time and scoping things out. Not really sure why that's such a big deal, but it is to the owners, I guess.


I'm really excited to get into a house. We've been living in what amounts to a shoebox for the past four years. Having some square footage is extremely exciting! I can breakdance in my living room! I can do cartwheels in the kitchen! I can aerobicize in the bedroom! Or, more accurately, I could if I wanted to.


There will be a place to put things. Like food. In Singapore we have to go grocery shopping every few days. There's not a lot of cupboard space and the refrigerators are so small. Our dishes don't really have much of a place to live here either. 


And my closet? Oy. It's really tiny. Picture a narrow closet where you might keep your vacuum cleaner and two or three coats. Something just big enough for those few things, but that's about it. That would be my bedroom closet. You could walk in it, sure, but you couldn't turn around. That's what I'm dealing with in Singapore. Most of my clothes get folded and put into a tiny little excuse-for-a-dresser.


The bathrooms here are also very, very small. And the washer and dryer don't fit into the room very well so they are stacked one on top of the other. They aren't supposed to be that way necessarily. I mean, they're not the stackable types, but we really had no choice.


And a yard. It'll be so nice to have a yard again! I do have one friend here who has a pretty good sized piece of property by Singapore standards, but they started building next door and she lost a good bit of her habitat. You see, in the US (depending on where you live) you might see lizards or squirrels living in your back yard. You may occasionally get a deer or even a fox. In Florida, we had lizards, an occasional owl and squirrels galore! But in Singapore, Nikki had monkeys in her back yard. When they started building, though, the monkeys lost some of their trees and they took off to another location with more branches ("real estate" by monkey definition).


I'm looking forward to having neighbors that don't live above me or below me. I'm looking forward to pulling up in a driveway and walking in the front door without having to go up 16 levels in the lift. I'm looking forward to stepping out my front door and seeing trees or grass or a road and not another door that looks just like mine. I'm looking forward to stepping out my front door and smelling food on the grill or fresh air or even dog poop. Not the cigarette smoke from the guy in 16-52. (By the way, Mr Smoker, it's illegal to smoke in the lift lobby.)


Looking for a place to live is more than just a closet to hang my clothes and a place to store my food. It's coming home and I'm really very excited about that!


FYI: If you want to see some of the homes I'm considering, here are the links (in order of preference):
Laurel
Northington
Circle
Deer
Willow

Momma? I'm comin' home! Bittersweet words right now, really.

It was in September, 2007 I had to say goodbye to my friends and family in the US. We packed nearly everything we owned into two suitcases a piece and boarded a 747 headed to Tokyo. It was the beginning of an incredible international journey that is coming to a close. Sort of.

The job that landed us in Japan and then Singapore is about over. The next chapter is about to begin, but things are a little different this time. This time the job offer is for "single status," meaning the company only pays for him to stay in Singapore. The kids and I have to move back to the US. Well, we don't have to move back, but it really is the best thing right now. I'll save those gory details for a future blog, but suffice it to say that there has been a lot of talking, crying, doubting, praying, research and thought that has gone into this decision. We have gone from talking about an extended US vacation for me and the kids to moving back to the US.

When we talked through every point we could imagine, it boiled down to schooling. The kids' education is really the most important thing right now. Neither one is doing very well in the homeschool environment. The Boy will be finished with his junior year of high school in about three weeks. His future plans include the military. It is important for him to spend his final year of high school taking Driver's Ed, getting his first job and talking to recruiters. He also needs to study for and pass the ASVAB. The Girl somehow managed to fail ninth grade with all A's. (See? I told you this was going to have to wait for another blog. Very complicated stuff.)

My parents moved to Florida from upstate NY when I was a sophomore in high school. It was three months before my 16th birthday. I was devastated. I have always wanted to go back, but there has never been an opportunity. It's not that there aren't any jobs. It's just that they're all in the wrong industry. The schools in upstate NY are some of the best in the nation and given that The Girl really needs to be challenged right now, we felt like this would be the best place for her.  She will repeat ninth grade and get to start high school with her peers, rather than enter high school at a higher grade when all the "rules" have been established. This should be easier for her socially.

The way the job works is, every three months he gets to come home for two weeks. Now that's a really long flight to make so frequently, but we figure that he can come home for a couple of weeks the first time, then I can go back to Singapore. The next time, maybe we'll meet in the "middle." We'll just take turns so that it's more manageable and he doesn't have to do all the travel all the time. My friend Deanna is in Belgium, so we've already decided that the first time we meet up, that will be our "half way point."

It was a really tough decision to not move to Florida. My parents are there and my dad has Parkinson's disease. I want to spend as much time as possible making up for the missed years while I was in Asia. But as it turns out, Mom & Dad are also kind of keen on moving back to New York State. There's a chance I'll get to help them make that move after I get home.

The little details are still not worked out quite yet, but I do know that very soon - near the beginning of June - D'Ette and I will be coming back to the US. We will fly into Buffalo and spend a few days looking at rental homes. I will have to buy a car.

Holy cow! You know what just dawned on me? I not only have to buy a car, but I need to buy towels and dishes and small appliances. I need to buy everything! When I say we sold (or gave away) almost everything we owned, I wasn't kidding. I have a few boxes at my mom's house (including a couple of Pampered Chef stoneware dishes), but I literally got rid of everything! I'll need to get dishes and pots and pans and towels and food storage containers and silverware and a toaster and microwave. Oh. My. Gosh. I actually love shopping for that kind of stuff, but when you have to buy it all at once? This may be a little overwhelming. (Breathe, Jen.  Breeaatthhheeee.)

Anyway, as I was saying ... once I have rented a house and bought a car, D'Ette and I will fly to Florida. We will go see my parents and all my "adopted" family in Lakeland. A trip to Lakeland is long overdue! We'll spend some time there with people who are dearer to our hearts than I could possibly put into words. I'll get to see Mom & Dad. Mom will be full of questions about how to do this or that on FarmVille and I will have to put her leash on and take her out for a walk to calm her down. During the visit, I'll go through all the things I stored at Mom and Dad's place and get a mover to give me an estimate on how long it'll take and what it'll cost me to get my measly few boxes to New York. It's going to be too much to ship, but really too little to hire a moving van, but I really don't think I'll be up for making the drive. I do love a road trip, but when you're the only one doing all the driving, it's not as much fun.

Somewhere in there I also have to make a trip to Louisiana to see the girls, the babies and my mother-in-law.

Then it'll be back to New York. About six weeks after I have found a place, all my stuff from Singapore will arrive. We don't have a lot to ship home, but I have done a little bit of shopping during the Asian Tour. I picked up a couple of vases and some linens. Then there are my books and clothes and all that other stuff you tend to collect as you spend a few years in one place.

There's so much to look forward to when coming home. It's going to be tough living the next couple of years of my life essentially as a single mom, but I know it's what's best for both kids and for our family as a whole. It'll be hard with him in Singapore and me in the US. But I'll have my childhood friends, my extended family in Lakeland (who had BETTER come visit me in Buffalo!) and New York pizza to keep me company. And beef on weck. And real Buffalo wings. And Target. And Taco Bell. And driving on the right side of the road. And people who call it a "trunk" instead of the "boot."

So ... who's ready?

Before FarmVille, my mom would send me e-mails that said things like,

"Hey Honey,
How are you? Your dad and I miss you. Hope you are doing well. We went to Bingo last night and Dad won $10 dollars. Boy, you should have heard Betty cuss! She was so mad because it's either me or your dad winning every week. Two weeks ago I won the jackpot. Sadie is okay, but she has been barking a lot lately when people come to the door. I hope she's not going blind."

Now that Mom is playing FarmVille, I get a lot more email than I used to get, but this is what they look like:

"How do I get my cows in the barn?"

Yeah.  That's the whole message.  No wasting any time asking, "How are you?"

Going through my inbox for the past couple of days, I have decided to share a few with you.
1.  "I hit add neighbors up at the top of the farm page and lost both the two you put in for me. I still have the request form but I don't know how to do this."

2.  "I must be doing something wrong as I lost the 2 friends you sent, then they came back with some others and now they are gone again so I only have you and Veda and Ann. I can't understand why I am losing them."

3.  "Question. When I plant the veggies or seeds, whatever I plant stays in my hand even when I am through and I have to leave the program to get it out of my hand. Is there a key somewhere to push to get rid of the item. Come see! I did a lot today. I got some animals too."

4.  "I can see all my work around the house is going down the tubes now that I'm playing this game."

>>Yeah.  I can see that too.

5.  "How much cash or XP do I have to have to get more land?"

6.  "I can go to the English countryside now. My spaceship is on hold and my cotton is planted. Should I go when I am ready or wait until I am more familiar?"

>> It's not a spaceship.  It's a hot air balloon.  But I suppose if you've been up all night with your FarmCrack that your eyes could be playing tricks on you.

7.  "I have started my stables and have a chicken coop.  What are you guys going to do today?"

>>That's my favorite.  Like I'm supposed to believe she's been building a horse stable in her back yard and working on the chicken coops.  What am **I** going to do?  Because whatever it is, it's not as productive as she's been!

8.  "Hi hon. Someone wanted to be my neighbor and was wearing a scarf but it said two mutual friends and your name was there so I accepted."

9.  "Hi hon. Guess you are up and on the farm. Can you send me some building materials if you got any extra?"

>>I'm doing great, Mom.  Thanks for asking.

This is what happens when you give your mom a MacBook and teach her how to use Facebook.

My friend Deneen mentioned today how much she loves browsing Fred Flare. I have been shopping their site for some time, and realized that I have quite a few cool websites in my bookmarks that are really fun! If you're looking for unique gift ideas for Christmas, these are my recommendations:


Blue Ribbon General Store - lots of fun stuff!
Destination Dinners - I've ordered from them a lot. Lisa is a great lady who really knows how to offer customer service!
Joy T-Shirt - They sell t-shirts, but these are like none you've ever seen!
Japan Trend Shop - Lots of crazy, funky stuff ~ just like you'd expect from the Japanese!
Firebox - Out of the UK, but if you're one of my UK or other overseas friends, this probably isn't an issue for you. And if you're a US friend, it's still worth the look!
This Into That - Art & a gift shop. This isn't really feasible for most people on your gift list, but if you wanna spend the money on me, I'll take the bookshelf.
Perpetual Kid - 'Cause what if you really do have someone on your list who would appreciate a Nice Jewish Guys 2011 calendar?
Delight - A little o' this and a little o' that.
JD Foods - Because everything should taste like bacon!
Ruby Jewel - Homemade ice cream sandwiches. And yes, you can ship them!
Ice Cream Source - Sticking with the shippable ice cream theme, how about some pomegranate martini ice cream?
Beat Up Creations - This is an Etsy site. I love Etsy for so many things, but this is one of my favorite shops on Etsy.
You Bars - Customize your own protein bars and protein shakes. You can do this for yourself, or for a health nut in your life! You can even put your own labels on them.

First I should tell you this is not my mother.  I could never use a picture of my actual mother.  That just wouldn't be right.  So I used a stock photo of someone else's mother.


I hate to use my first blog in a long time to whine, but when I stopped to think of what's going on in my life right now, all I can think about is the crap stuff.  So I'm hoping that by writing it all down I can get it out of my system and then maybe focus on the good stuff.


First of all, my mother was just in Singapore for a three-week visit.  We had a great time, but we all joked that my 73-year-old mother is way younger than the rest of us.  She wore us all out, including my teenagers!  (Of course, I should go on the record as saying my kids have gotten pretty lazy lately and aren't in the great shape they once were.)  Mom was ready to go-go-go every day, so that meant a lot of days where I would work, work, work just to get ahead so we could have one day where I didn't have to work.  I sacrificed sleep too.  So now that Mom has been gone for about five days, I'm coming down with something.  She left Tuesday morning and on Friday I started to feel "off."  Here it is Sunday night and I'm still not well.  It actually feels like strep throat without the burning throat.  Weird, right?  Especially since that's what makes strep throat, strep throat!  I've got something going on back there, but not quite sure what it is.  Thing is, I can't go to the doctor because there's really nothing to treat quite yet.  So I'll have to wait until the symptoms get worse or maybe go away on their own.  I'm hoping for the latter.


While Mom was here I was having some pretty bad pains in my leg.  My right calf was burning.  The cramp would begin almost immediately as we began walking anywhere.  Just three or four steps (at a snail's pace even) and I was in excruciating pain.  I went to the doctor while Mom was still here and he ordered an ultrasound.  I didn't want to go while Mom was still here, so I made that appointment for Thursday.  So the day before I started to come down with this non-strep-throat thing, I found out that I have a torn calf muscle.  In fact, the doctor said it appears as though it's a chronic thing and that this has been happening for a long time, possibly even before my injury six years ago that led to my knee surgery five years ago.  I was told to rest the leg.  My doctor doesn't want me walking anywhere.  He said if I have a choice to walk a couple of blocks or take a taxi or bus, I should opt for the public transportation.  No walking.  Period.


So now maybe you see why I can't think of anything else to write about right now.  I'm living in a foreign country where all I wanna do is walk around and take in the sights.  There are many great tours out there.  I've been on several, but not all of them.  But for at least six months I can't go anywhere on this leg if it involves walking on it.  And while I'm resting that now, I've got this crazy non-sore-throat thing I'm also dealing with.


But -- I've got it all down now.  It's been written.  So maybe I can walk past this and figure out what's next, or at least find the good stuff in my life that seems to be hidden behind my shadow of misfortune.

I'm beginning to wonder if my mail was swallowed by Eyjafjallajokull, the Icelandic volcano. You see, my mom mailed a birthday card to The Boy in plenty of time for it to arrive by his 23 April birthday. Around that same time, my friend Lou Ann mailed me Flat Stanley so I could photograph him on the Singapore Flyer or some other really cool Singapore destination.


The thing is, Iceland's volcano decided to erupt and mess with our airspace about this same time. So now I'm wondering - since neither piece of mail has arrived - whether it was lost along the way or maybe it will show up sometime by 2012.


Mailing things internationally can be a bit challenging as it is. It's not a huge deal from Singapore to the US, but it is expensive. But mailing things from the US to Singapore is kind of a hassle, so I feel so grateful to anyone who is willing to send us packages to a place where so many things are illegal or outlawed.


Gum, for instance. Mom sent me some of my favorite gum from the US, but it was taken from me by the Mail Police. Not only did they take it from me, but they made me open my package in front of them, remove the gum and then they proceeded to dump the gum into a bucket of water.


I'm hopeful eventually Jean-Luc's birthday money and Flat Stanley will show up someday, that is, unless Flat Stanley broke out of his package and opened the envelope and is on some shopping spree in Hong Kong. We may never see either of them again.

I have a craving for homemade chocolate chip cookies. And whose better to bake than Nanny's?

1/2 cup butter
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/4 cup flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
2 cups Rice Krispies
1 cup chocolate chips

Cream together butter and sugar.
Add egg and vanilla. Mix until light & fluffy.
Combine flour, baking soda and salt, and add gradually until blended.
Add Rice Krispies and chocolate chips
Bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes.

Things have really been looking up for me and my business overseas.  I was very excited when I was recently asked to submit a quote for a Johnson & Johnson TV commercial. The client liked my demo, accepted my quote and hired me for the project. Four TV commercials.

I showed up to the studio 30 minutes prior to the scheduled recording so that I would be relaxed and acclimated to my surroundings. I was a little surprised to see that there was no separate booth for me. Instead, there was a microphone toward the back of this roughly 10'x10' room, a sheet music stand for my copy and a tall chair for me to sit in. Oh, and no headphones (and no place for me to plug mine in).

Finally the people from the advertising agency arrived. There were four of them, one a man from the US. The client showed up next and we were ready to go. In addition to these five people (and me) were two people from the studio. Eight people total in this small room.

Before we could begin recording, the engineer had to turn off the air conditioner. They don't have central AC in many places in Singapore, and the wall unit was making too much noise for us to be able to record. To say that it made the room stuffy is a huge understatement.

I wasn't thrilled with my mic either. I was certain a professional recording studio would have a Neumann microphone. When I asked about it, they acted almost like they had never heard of it before. Instead I was recording into some cheap microphone that, quite honestly, did not do my voice any justice. During playback, one of the reps from the advertising agency asked me if I have a cold. She then wanted to know why my voice sounded so different than it did in my demo. The client and the American man from the agency shook their heads, also wanting to know. I did my best to explain to them (without putting down the studio) that my demo was recording on a professional quality studio microphone.

The American man from the ad agency was the one giving me direction. He wanted me to sound sultry during this read. But there was something he didn't like about my delivery. He told me several times he didn't like my phrasing. Those are his words. I quote, "I do not like your phrasing there." He told me this as if I had anything to do with the copy. I did not write the copy, so I could not control the phrasing. I actually figured out about 30 minutes later he did not mean that he didn't like the phrasing. He didn't like the inflection I was giving one of the words in a specific phrase.

To make a long story short, after two hours in the studio, we gave up. There was a lot of external noise. The studio is next door to a school and the children on the playground were very loud. There were also interruptions of people walking in and out of the studio during the recording session. On top of this, some of the ad people found it necessary to leave their cell phones on and every time one of them would vibrate, the buzzing noise would create a huge distraction.

When I left the studio, the client told me it was not me. She told me the problem was that the studio is not a suitable place to record and they would call me back to determine another time. Later that afternoon I got an email from the studio informing me the client was unhappy with me as the talent for this project, stating that my demo did not represent my true abilities.

I was devastated. The truth is, I believe my demo is quite an accurate representation of what I am able to do. However, given the fact that I was asked to record into a less-than-stellar microphone, I can't say I blame her. If I had been allowed to do this project from my own studio, I have no doubt the client would have been completely satisfied with what I would have delivered, and in far less time. In addition, I would have had complete control of my environment.

This experience has given me a little more diva than I had before. I will no longer settle for crappy equipment or less than perfect studio conditions. If it costs me a job, so be it. Not insisting could likely yield the same results, as I learned in this case. For my two hours' time I earned nothing except an insult and a blow to the ego.

It has taken me a little while to be able to blog this. I was too upset to even bring it up until now, but I've moved past it and am still ready to take Singapore by a storm.

Today I spent a good bit of the day on Twitter. I go through phases with this microblogging thing. Some days I may post two or three tweets. Other days it's more like 40 or 50 updates. If you're on Twitter and not following me, I'm @radiojen. If you're not on Twitter and you wonder what this whole crazy thing is about, I have selected a few tweets at random from some of the people I follow.

Travel ... reading ... having conversations with friends about my travel and about the books I'm reading ... these are things that have really broadened my horizons and helped me learn far beyond what any book or classroom could have taught me. So I may not be able to graph an inequality, but I can find Myanmar on a map and I know why Chinese men grow their pinky nail so insanely long.

Watching the latest Bachelor series got me thinking about something. Why is it we care so much which woman he picks? Why do I care which woman Jake wants to spend the rest of his life with? Does watching this show for an hour and a half once a week give me some special say into who he should marry? I'd like to think so, but it does not. Still, I know I'm not alone on this one.

I was really shocked Jake did not choose Tenley. I just knew he wouldn't pick Vienna. I mean, aside from her age and immaturity, there were so many warning signs. None of the other girls liked Vienna. She just never could say things right, and I think she was a bit too much of a princess. I can't help but feel that since he had to fight for Vienna (to convince the other girls and his parents she wasn't who they thought she was), there was some psychological advantage.

But why do I care? Why do women care that the boy gets the girl and the girl gets the boy? Hollywood has made a fortune off this very thing with movies like Serendipity, City of Angels and 13 Going on 30. We love a good chick flick, don't we ladies?

Somehow we allow ourselves to be sucked into these love stories, reality shows and even the stories our friends share with us about their own lives. We want the nice girl -- the one with the kind heart and the bright smile -- to get the boy. Not the sarcastic, mean girl who seems to be out only to serve her own needs. Yet, that seemed to happen in this case with The Bachelor. Maybe that's just real life. Real life is messy. Bad decisions are made. There are no writers to come fix things, no producers to call the shots and make things pretty, no directors to change things at the last minute so that it's a happier ending tied in a bow.

As a woman, I can honestly say there have been times when I was still dating that I absolutely chose the wrong boy. In high school, the wrong boy got the girl. But just the same, there were times I was overlooked for the "wrong girl."

Of course, I also believe that we can be our own authors, producers and directors. If we don't like the way our lives have turned out, we have the power to change things. Not just in love, but in all facets of our lives. If you don't like your job, quit complaining and find a better one. If you don't like your house, decorate it or sell it and buy a new one. If you don't like your boyfriend, dump him and get a new one. Heck, in this day and age if you don't like your nose, you can even change that.

All this doesn't explain why we care so much that Jake chose Vienna over Tenley. Or even more, why he didn't let Ali come back. That was really his biggest mistake. Again, why do I care? Why do we, as women, care?

Maybe because we were raised from little girls to believe that the prince always chooses Cinderella, and that Cinderella gets to be a princess. We're taught that the kind, sweet, pretty girl always gets the man of her dreams and they ride off on a white horse into the sunset. And when that doesn't happen, maybe it makes us question our fundamental beliefs.

Now, where's my glass slipper?

Earlier this week I found out the hole that allows food down my esophagus is a bit of a spaz. I was having issues eating last week, so I had to go to a specialist to find out what was going on. My first thought was acid reflux. I didn't have all the symptoms, but it seemed the most logical. We also thought maybe an ulcer or a hiatal hernia. Turns out it's none of those things. Just a little spaz attack of the esophagus hole thingy (not the technical name).

In order to find this out, though, I had to go in for a surgical procedure. I admit, I was a bit nervous. Anytime they make you slip on a robe that shows your butt, you know that's serious business. They wheeled me into the room where they were going to perform the operation, sprayed my throat with some numbing thing, then injected me with some sedative. Then the doctor shoved a long tube down my throat, into my esophagus then my stomach and took a little peek. When I was allowed out of the recovery room about an hour later, they showed me the video. Pretty freakin' COOL! If they'd have given me a copy, I'd upload it on YouTube so you could check it out, but all they gave me were a few pictures of my insides. I guess it's the closest I'll ever get to a sonogram, so I think I'll scan those and share them with my friends.

I truly am a princess. Seriously, I've been pampered more this weekend than I have in a very, very long time! Not only was it long overdue, but it was well-deserved. You'll just have to take my word on that!

And these cutesy little slippers? I love that the resort had them waiting for me upon my arrival. I wanted to bring them home with me, but I'm not that kind of girl.

I had a massage, body scrub and facial Saturday. Sunday I had a full-body massage and a foot reflexology massage. A-MA-zing! Seriously. Those little Thai women know how to work your muscles! It was a little bit painful laying on my back so long, though. It would have been nice to have a pillow under my knees to relieve some of the pressure from my lower back, but mostly it was really, really awesome!

This was my first trip to Thailand. We spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday at the Malisa Resort in Phuket. The water was beautiful, the sun was shining, the people were happy and friendly and the pampering was top-notch!

Oh, and as if all those things weren't enough to make me a princess with a capital P, our own personal chef came down each morning to make us breakfast in our villa. As a princess, what more could I ask for, really?

I haven't traveled the whole world, but I have seen a lot of it. I've seen some nice airports and some pretty disastrous ones. Changi International Airport in Singapore is by far the best airport I've visited. And I'm not just saying that because I live here. This place is just amazing! Not only do they offer tons of amenities (including a swimming pool, Hard Rock Cafe and verrrry reasonably-priced massages), but the place is just gorgeous!

There are beautiful flowers and plants. The decor is really pretty, but appropriate for an airport. The furniture, the lighting, everything. It's just really a wonderful airport to visit.

On this trip, I also spent some time at the airport in Moscow, Russia. I seriously felt like I was standing in some bread line. It was very Communist feeling. The walls were grey and the floors matched. There was nothing to decorate the airport. I began to worry that every line I had to enter ended in a firing squad.

I also had a layover in Houston. You'd think in America that we'd have some darned good airports. Apparently Houston didn't get the memo. That airport sucks. That's all I'm going to say about that.

One of my favorite things about coming home is putting my tired feet into these little foot massagers for my free tootsie massage! Plus, when I go back through Immigration, the people are so much nicer than those I have to deal with in some of the other countries. Singapore has definitely done this right. When they welcome people to their country, they understand that a visitor's first impression of their country is of the airport. No wonder people love it here!

Scareorism is like terrorism, only instead of being terrorised, you're just scared. A few days ago, this man was sitting in the seat next to me on my flight from the US to Moscow and Moscow to Singapore. On the first leg of the trip I didn't think much of him. He was a little bit "ooghy," but not overly scary. It wasn't until we got to Moscow that this man scared the $#!? out of me!

While I was in line waiting to have my passport checked in Moscow, I overheard a conversation between this scareorist and a Russian airport official. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I started listening the moment I heard her say, "So you lost your passport?" He said, "No." She said, "Oh, you don't *have* a passport?" At that point I was done being checked and I had to walk through the double doors or I'd arise suspicion myself. I'm not sure how that turned out, but it sounded like I was flying next to some dude who didn't have a passport.

My question is this -- how on earth did the dude get on the airplane if he didn't have a passport? And didn't we just read about some dude from Amsterdam trying to blow up an entire airplane with his exploding underwear? I kept thinking I hope this woman gave this man an undies check.

I'm not sure how it all turned out, but the scareorist was allowed back on the airplane headed to Singapore, and lucky me, he was seated right beside me. I was ready though. I took this picture the moment we got on the airplane and I saved it to my phone with some notes in case his underwear should suddenly burst into flames or what-not.

This year Chinese New Year falls on Valentine's Day. I would imagine the Chinese (who are very superstitious) find this means anyone being married or falling in love on this day can expect a very prosperous love life.

One of my favorite parts of Chinese New Year is the Lion Dance. When I first moved here I had no idea what this was. In fact, I even called it a Dragon Dance because I thought these little guys were dragons. I later learned they are lions. Whatever. Rawr.

What is so cool is how their eyes and mouths move. You actually start to believe these costumes are real live pets! I wanted to adopt one and take it home to live with me! They remind me a lot of my (old) poodle Max. I'm not quite sure I can pinpoint how or why, but they do and I thought for sure this thing was really alive. It isn't until the two men step out of the suit that you are brought back to reality that it's just a costume with a couple of dudes.

This year is the Year of the Tiger. A little bit about the Tiger (according to the Chinese Zodiac):

The tiger is said to be lively and engaging. The tiger is also incredibly brave. Those born under this sign traditionally do not find worth in power or money. They are completely honest about how they feel and expect the same from you. Tigers are typically very well-liked.

If you were born in any of the following years, you are a Tiger: 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998, 2010.

I'm a Rat. In fact, I'm what's known as a "water Rat." What that means is I have a knack for influencing people. People born in 1912 and 1972 share this "ability." We also have strong intellectual powers and great insight. We're also great puzzle solvers. The water rat is also quick to understand others and are typically very practical. Rats apply their talents to their everyday lives, making them obliging, generous and compassionate to other people. Generally, they are liked and respected by everyone. Like all Rats, though, they can also be determined to seek their own gain and will not mind using their talents to achieve it, though generally without losing anyone's respect.

Are you surprised to know that rats make excellent writers, broadcasters, actors, advisors, counselors, lawyers, directors, entrepreneurs, musicians, stand-up comedians and designers?

You can read more about this here.

Because I am a Dog-Lover, I'll tell you a little bit about those born under the Year of the Dog (1910, 1922, 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006).

Dogs are responsible, compassionate, reliable, honest, pessimistic, anxious, overwhelming and nosy.

Metal Dogs (those born in 1970, that's those turning 40 this year) have extremely high standards and expect a lot of themselves and others. They're loyal and hold a strong outlook about the direction they want their life to take. They choose their friends and causes with care. Once they've committed themselves, there is little to no turning back. They are bold, unafraid to disagree out loud about anything they feel is unjust. Metal dogs get stressed easily if a plan doesn't go accordingly. They find it hard to relax when things are left undone.

Dogs make great nurses, interior decorators, counselors, priests, politicians, judges, clerks, police officers, psychiatrists, scientists, teachers and professors.

Dogs make good partners and most people find them easy to live and get a long with. His seriousness or grounded personality may be boring to some, but to others it demonstrates an innate stability.

If you are not a Rat or a Dog and you want to know where you fall, click here to read about all 12 signs of the Chinese horoscope.

I hate saying goodbye. I asked my friends to meet me at the Red Elephant for dinner one last time before the kids and I head back to Singapore. The turn-out was amazing. I am so completely touched by all the wonderful people I have in my life. I cannot tell you how blessed I feel to know that at any time I could call on any number of people to help me out of a pinch, and any of them would be there. Some people go through life with one or two really good friends. I don't know what I did right, but it must have been something pretty amazing to know that I have countless wonderful people in my life.

Oh, and let me say that the Red Elephant is pretty amazing. The staff is just WONDERFUL. The food is fantastic. The prices are definitely affordable. I will sing their praises to anyone who will listen.