The Jennifer Blogs

Valentine's Day is coming up and boy, do I feel sorry for the single girls! I thought that with the pending holiday you love to hate, I'd share some of my dating horror stories. Maybe that'll cheer up my single gals. And feel free to post yours, too.



Bad Date 1:
 We'll keep it on a first name basis. His name was Louis. (I guess it probably still is, huh?)

Louis and I were going on a blind date. Ugh. I gave Louis directions to the apartment, and he showed up right on time. I went to answer the door and all I could think when I saw him was GOMER. No kidding. Gomer Freakin' Pyle at my door. Still, I'm nice, so I can't just fake a cold all of a sudden. I notice he's got his hand behind his back. I figure he's got a bouquet of flowers. Nice gesture. He pulls his hand out from behind his back and he's got a bouquet alright -- a bouquet of TOOTHBRUSHES. NO KIDDING! His dad was a dentist (probably still is), so Louis thought he would stock me up on toothbrushes I guess. He was even kind enough to bring me a few sample toothpastes and dental flosses. Gomer.



So after I ran to put the toothbrushes in a vase of water (I'm kidding), we headed out to his Gomer car. I don't remember what he was driving, but I remembered feeling like Urkel. So anyway, I ask him where we're going. He decides that before dinner he'd like to take me some place "special." All I'm thinking is that I've never heard of an Inspiration Point in Huntsville or anything like that, so hopefully I'm safe. I'm a little puzzled when we pull up to an empty building -- a ... what does the sign say? Dentist office? Oh great. He's going to stick a drill in my mouth next. 

Not quite, but he did give me the world class tour of his dad's dental office. All this before dinner. What more could a girl ask for?



I don't remember where we ate, but I was so glad when it ended. Gomer dropped me off. He did not get a kiss. But he did get made fun of the next day on the air. How could I not share this date disaster with the guys on the morning show?




Bad Date 2:
 Larry took me to a fair being hosted by a local car dealership. (Yep, still in Alabama.) We went to Subway first to grab a bite to eat. Even though I told him I don't do well on wild rides, he insisted I ride something that made me go upside down, jerked me around, and then deposited me dizzy on the ground. 

Next stop - the Pirate. 'Cause what else should you do after you've eaten and then ridden a wild ride? Ride in a big ship that rocks you back and forth, baaaack and forrrth. 

Next thing I know I'm feeling really queasy and I lose my sub and chips on the Pirate. Ahoy. 

Yep - it's coming out and I. Can't. Stop. It. I hear a kid yell, "Someone puked!" 

I'd open my mouth - puke comes pouring out - and as the ship rocks us baaaack and forrrrth, someone else gets swung into my liquefied Turkey and Swiss on Wheat.



I was covered when we got off the ship. For a second I contemplated telling Larry someone puked on me, but it wasn't just on my shirt and my watch - it was all over my chin and mouth. Needless to say, I didn't get a kiss goodnight. In fact, I didn't even get another date.



Happy Valentines Day to my single friends.