The Jennifer Blogs

I just returned from the condo office to voice my complaint over the Speedo Rule. Before walking in and making a complete idiot of myself, though, I walked to where the pool rules are posted to make sure there wasn't something on there that I missed. Indeed there are only two rules. Both apply to safety-type issues.



While I was on that side of the pool I noticed a man and his wife getting ready to swim. He had on a pair of swim shorts like what Jean-Luc wears. I was going to approach him and ask if he had any problems with his bathing suit choice, but as I got close he removed them to reveal a tight little pair of Speedo trunks. I smiled through my teeth and continued toward the office.



I think I frightened the little Singaporean woman behind the counter. I told her my son was kicked out of the pool, and I wanted to know why. It seemed like she was already familiar with the situation. Apparently the security guard who reprimanded my son already filled in the office staff.



She came out of the office, pen and paper in hand, and proceeded to draw for me the different types of bathing suits with which she is familiar. She then wanted me to point to which kind my son was wearing. Then she drew a diagram of the swimming pool and pointed out which areas he could swim in with his current bathing suit. I'm not making this up. He is allowed to swim in the "kiddie pool" with his shorts-style trunks. But to swim in the "Men's Pool" as she called it, he must wear a Speedo. (where the heck is the woman's pool??)

I explained to her that I wasn't trying to cause any trouble, but that my son is 15. FIFTEEN! F-I-F-T-E-E-N. If he puts on a Speedo and a pretty girl walks by, the office may get complaints of a different kind. 



I also explained that since they are "taking complaints," I am actually quite unhappy about my 12 year old daughter having to look at all the European junk hanging out at the pool. In some cases, almost quite literally. 



You would NOT BELIEVE some of the bathing suits out there. One old guy has a pink speedo with white polka dots. A little tiny tight pair of girly panties, if you ask me.



Anyway, she told me to bring the bathing suits my son wears to the office. She will photograph them and write descriptions to send to the management. They will decide on the matter. Whatever. I'm not stupid. I know what that means. And there's no way in heck Marso will ever get in that pool with those things either!

 As disgusted as I am by this, there's a little part of me that wants to invite a bunch of big men to a swimming party at our pool. Is that bad?

 Anyway, I'll let you know what "management" says about the suits.